5 Love Languages
Week #1: A Biblical Understanding of Love
1 Corinthians 13 (ESV) The Way of Love
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have(A) prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith,(B) so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3(C) If I give away all I have, and(D) if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4(E) Love is patient and(F) kind; love(G) does not envy or boast; it(H) is not arrogant 5or rude. It(I) does not insist on its own way; it(J) is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6it(K) does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but(L) rejoices with the truth. 7(M) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,(N) endures all things. 8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
Remember back when you got married… It is a terrific day, everything is about you and your spouse. They day is yours and you feel like this is the first day of the rest of your lives. When you both first “Fell” in love, didn’t it seem as though your mate could do no wrong? The rest of your family and friends could see their faults but you could not? Then, after a few years, that “Love” that you experienced was gone. You could now see all your spouse’s flaws? You stopped being aware of the similarities and the differences now where innumerable.
The “feeling” of love was now gone. The emotional high of “falling” in love was now gone. At first you felt as though your “falling” in love was so great for the other person that you would jump out of a 10,000’ airplane to express your love for that person? The progression of things that happen when you jump out of an airplane are; jumping (head first into love), falling (letting the emotion of love carry you away), and then the falling stops in one of two ways; either a crash or a successful landing. The former happens when one is not prepared for the landing, and the latter is when you are.
You either have a parachute, knowledge of the transition from falling to stopping when you reach earth, or you have thrown caution to the wind and jumped without a parachute and come crashing to the ground. Metaphorically, jumping with a parachute is being grounded in Biblical (Good) Love, and jumping without one is Wordly (Bad) Love.
Class Exercise: Dry erase board: Write 1 Cor 13:4-5a in sections
| Biblical (Good) Love: Patient, Kind, rejoices with truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, never ends | Worldly (Bad) Love: Boastful, arrogant, rude, selfish, irritable, resentful, rejoice at wrongdoing |
Key Point #1: Worldly (Bad) love is counterfeit love. |
Ephesians 5:1-3 - Walk in Love
1(A) Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2And(B) walk in love,(C) as Christ loved us and(D) gave himself up for us, a(E) fragrant(F) offering and sacrifice to God. 3But(G) sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness(H) must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4Let there be(I) no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking,(J) which are out of place, but instead(K) let there be thanksgiving. 5For you may be sure of this, that(L) everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous ((M) that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6(N) Let no one(O) deceive you with empty words, for because of these things(P) the wrath of God comes upon(Q) the sons of disobedience. 7Therefore(R) do not become partners with them;
Worldly: Counterfeit love is:
- Immorality – Greek word porneia – Every kind of sexual sin – Self Gratification
- Impurity – Greek word akatharsia – Every kind of filth and impurity -
- Covetousness - Idolatry
When people have sex with others whom are not their spouses, they do so out of contempt for themselves. The lowest estimation of one’s self reaches out to grab what it can to make itself “feel” less contemptible.
- We are not showing authentic love unless we are intolerant of all the popular perversions of love.
Key Point #2: Biblical (good) love is authentic love. |
C.S. Lewis – the Four Loves
Biblical: Authentic love is:
- Storge – Affection
- Phileo – Friendship
- Eros – Romance
- Agape – Unconditional Love – Godly love for His children
John 15:9-12 (English Standard Version)
9(A) As the Father has loved me,(B) so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10(C) If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as(D) I have kept(E) my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11These things I have spoken to you,(F) that my joy may be in you, and that(G) your joy may be full.
12(H) "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
-We are called to abide in God’s love. John 15:9-12
| Key Point #3: Love is an action, Love is a deed, Love is an activity |
Reread 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV) The Way of Love
- The bible never defines love. It only describes love.
Quote: John MacArthur – Sermon – Qualities of True Love part 1
The Bible never defines love. It never defines love in terms of abstracts, in terms of attitudes, in terms of feelings, in terms of ideology, it never defines love, it only describes love...in action. Because love is not an abstract. Love is not a feeling. Love is not really an attitude. Love is a deed. Love is an activity. In the Greek "Love is patient, love is kind, love is this, love is not that, love..." and what you read in English are adjectives. But in the Greek there are no adjectives here, these are all verbs. And verbs describe...what?...action. Love is not something you describe with adjectives. Love is something you describe with verbs because love is only described, it is not defined. Love is only love when it acts.
- Love is something that you do, not an emotion that you can fall in or out of.
In the movie Fireproof, a firefighter is losing his marriage. His father gives him a challenge to, everyday, act in loving ways to his wife. After time, those daily actions turned into a love for his wife like he never knew. When you give your selfishness up for someone else, you start to love that person, not out of emotion, but out of action.
Like a parent to an infant. The infant is incapable to feed, cloth, change, protect, clean itself. It is upon the parent to do all these things. In the act of doing these things, a love for the child grows like no other love for anyone else. It is a love grown out of action.
Today’s Challenge for the month: Each day, take the Love Dare for your spouse.
